


Starting Over

by ArianneMaya



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 23:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianneMaya/pseuds/ArianneMaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam was expecting to bring someone back home with him tonight. He just wasn't expecting that person to be Tommy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aislinn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislinn/gifts).



> Written as a birthday gift for @aislinntlc, as well as a thank you for all the amazing beta work she always does for me. Happy birthday sweetie! I hope you enjoy this and I'm sorry about the lack of porn. The boys wouldn't comply.  
> Many thanks to Leela for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine.

Waking up in the middle of the night with someone in his bed isn’t something Adam’s used to anymore. Usually, he creeps out of the room of whoever’s he’s slept with long before it turns into a walk of shame. If he lets someone into his own place, it’s because it’s a close friend with whom there’s no risk of complications. So this, tonight, has him completely lost. 

It was a simple dinner with friends, followed by a night out of drinking and dancing and the hope, maybe, of getting laid at the end. The kind of evening that would have left Adam feeling high on life if it weren’t for the fact that, instead of a hook-up with a stranger, it’s Tommy who’s sleeping in Adam’s bed. 

When they ended up at the bar, all Adam had in mind was to dance and drink and maybe find a pretty boy to fuck. However, it soon became obvious that the last part wasn’t going to happen as long as Tommy kept trying to climb Adam like a tree. 

Any other night, Adam wouldn’t have said a thing. He knows how Tommy is, always touching his friends like he’s afraid they’re going to vanish into thin air as soon as he steps away. He’s also aware that, when Tommy’s drunk, it becomes ten times worse, and Tommy turns into a real cuddle slut. And it’s never been a problem to him. 

But tonight, when he found himself with an armful of Tommy for at least the fifth time, he couldn’t help but say, “If you keep crawling into my lap every time I’m chatting someone up, I might start to think you’re interested.”

Instead of laughing it off, Tommy had smiled and looked at Adam through his eyelashes. “I am. Are you finally figuring it out?”

Somehow, that had devolved into heavy flirting, then heavy kissing, and then to them making out in a quiet corner of the bar. At the end of the evening, Adam had brought Tommy back to his place. 

Since the whole evening – hell, the last three years – had felt like foreplay, it had been a crazy race to get their clothes off and find their way to Adam’s room in between kisses. They’d barely made it to the bed before Tommy wrapped a hand around both their dicks, almost too tight, almost painful, but so very perfect. 

They’d come all over each other, had shared a long, intimate shower, and somehow had fallen asleep with their arms and legs tangled together without ever making it to round two. 

Now, it’s three am and Tommy’s still sleeping in Adam’s bed while Adam is wide awake, sitting in the living room and looking out the window.

A drunken hook-up with a friend shouldn’t feel like the end of the world. With anybody else, Adam knows it wouldn’t. But with Tommy, things are never that simple. 

Not with how hard Adam had to work to box in his feelings when they first met. Because, just when he knew that if he didn’t stop he would fall for Tommy, hard and fast, just when he thought that maybe it wasn’t just him, he met Tommy’s girlfriend. And since he’d already done the whole ‘having something with a straight guy and getting hurt in the process’ thing, he wasn’t willing to risk it again. Especially not with a guy who had a girlfriend, and then another one. 

Instead, in Tommy, he found a new best friend. He spent a whole tour kissing and making out, on and off stage while reminding himself that it couldn’t lead to anything more. He got so used to the way Tommy always seemed to be touching him that it stopped making his heart beat faster or his mind come up with thousands of what ifs and maybes. It took a long time, but Adam finally came to the conclusion that it was just the way Tommy was, the way they were together. 

Now it feels like he needs to take a step back and question everything that has happened or hasn’t happened between them since they met. But Adam doesn’t want to lose their friendship, and no matter what went on tonight, there is one thing that won’t change: he’s not risking his heart on a straight guy again. 

He’s still trying to make sense of the mess of his thoughts when he hears soft steps behind him, right before Tommy sits beside him and sticks himself to Adam’s side, slipping both arms around him and holding him tight. 

As he frees his arm and rests it on the back of the couch to let Tommy inch closer, Adam can’t help but notice that, instead of hunting down the sweatpants and tee that he forgot the last time he slept at Adam’s, Tommy’s wearing some of Adam’s clothes, big enough on him that he looks like he’s swimming in them. Adam’s stomach clenches at how much he loves the sight of Tommy wearing his clothes instead of Tommy’s own.

“What are you doing here?”

Adam shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Tommy smiles at that, pokes Adam in the ribs. “You’re stealing my line.”

Adam can’t help but laugh, soft and low. “It’s true, though.”

He feels Tommy tightening his grip on him. “Why don’t you come back to bed?”

Looking out the window, Adam replies, “I’m not sleepy.”

There’s a soft, soft kiss on Adam’s neck. “We don’t have to sleep.”

No matter how tempting it sounds, Adam knows it will only make things harder in the morning. “I don’t think so.”

Even from the corner of his eye, Adam can see the expression on Tommy’s face and how much those words hurt.

“Oh. So that’s how it’s gonna be.”

Without another word, Tommy pushes away from Adam and stands. Minutes later, Adam hears him rummaging in the bedroom. 

By the time Adam’s body catches up with his brain enough to finally make him stand and follow, Tommy has his pants back on and is trying to find his phone. Adam’s worry turns into full-blown panic. Without thinking, he steps behind Tommy and molds himself to Tommy’s back, resting his hands on the dresser in front of Tommy, one arm on either side of him. “Don’t go.”

He can feel Tommy tense against him. “You obviously don’t want me here. I have no idea why the fuck I stayed.” 

Adam’s throat tightens. The last thing he wants is to lose everything they share. “I don’t want you to go. Please stay.”

Tommy doesn’t say a thing. The silence is driving Adam insane.

“Please,” he says again. “Let’s start over. Let’s not mess this up.”

Tommy turns around, his arms going around Adam as if of their own volition, holding him tight and close. “We already have.” He sucks in a breath, like he’s trying really hard not to cry. “You had to know how much it meant to me. Why the hell did you take me home if it wasn’t the same for you?”

Adam’s left speechless. When he gets his voice back, it’s like his brain hasn’t caught up with the conversation yet. “You don’t… you… What?”

There’s a long, long silence before Tommy finally whispers, “You always pushed me away. So last night, I assumed that something had changed. Looks like I was wrong.”

This is so very far from what Adam was expecting that he has a hard time processing it. Even then, all is can say is, “I’ve done relationships with straight guys. It’s a living hell. No way am I risking being hurt like that again.”

Tommy presses his face against Adam’s chest, burying the noise he’s making. His shoulders are shaking, and Adam was so totally expecting him to break down that it takes him a minute to realize that Tommy’s laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

Finally getting himself under control, Tommy raises his head to look Adam in the eyes. “What the hell, Adam? Who the fuck said I was straight?”

For a second, Adam can only blink at Tommy in surprise. “You’ve had girlfriends the whole time I’ve known you! What was I supposed to assume?”

Tommy looks like he could hit him. “Dude, you weren’t supposed to assume anything! You were supposed to believe me when I told you that I’m into both guys and girls.” Adam tries to interrupt him, but Tommy keeps going. “Because I did. Very fucking soon after we met.”

Adam remembers that moment all too well. That early, oh maybe there could be something, right before he put that information into the realm of drunken confessions. The kind of thing that wouldn’t hold true in the light of day when Tommy was sober. And, since Tommy had never mentioned it again, Adam assumed that’s all it was. 

“You were drunk,” he reminds Tommy. “You never said anything again. And I’ve only ever seen you with girls. I thought you meant three beer queer, not actually bi or something.”

This time, Tommy looks downright insulted. “You’re lucky that I love you. How the hell are you so blind?” Adam’s heart hammers in his chest at Tommy’s words, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything. “When I told you that, I was already half-way over my head about you. After you told me no, it didn’t matter how stupid it was, every guy I met had to measure up to you. That wasn’t fair to anyone, including me. I realized I wasn’t really trying. So I kept on dating girls because I didn’t felt the need to compare them to you all the time.”

“When I met you…” Adam swallows hard. This isn’t something he’s ever told Tommy, but at this point, it feels like he needs to. “Before I met you, my last relationship,” which isn’t exactly the way Adam would describe it in another context, but here and now, it’s the only way to talk about this, “had been with a guy who was straight but had a thing for me. I got my heart broken pretty badly. I wasn’t in a space where I could hear what you were telling me for what it was instead of what I was expecting.”

The only answer he gets is silence. Adam wonders if they’re already too late. If they’ve fucked up this thing between them so much that finally telling each other the truth won’t solve anything. 

Instead of adding anything, Adam releases his grip on the dresser, only now realizing that he’s so tense that his knuckles have whitened, and closes his arms around Tommy. He can’t help but think that, if they’ve fucked things up so badly that even their friendship can’t be salvaged from this mess, it might be the last time he gets this. 

There’s the hot burn of tears at the corner of his eyes as he’s reminded, once again, how well Tommy fits in his arms. 

“What do we do now?” Tommy’s voice is barely above a whisper, so low that Adam feels Tommy’s words against his skin more than he hears them. 

For once in his life, though, Adam doesn’t have any answer to that. He’s as lost as Tommy. “I don’t know.” He hesitates before he says, “Maybe we’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“How about we start over?”

Tommy shakes his head. “We can’t do that. You know it.”

With gentle hands on Tommy’s shoulders, Adam pushes him away until he can look at him in the eyes. “I don’t mean forgetting what happened tonight. I’ve wanted you for long enough. There’s no question I want that again, and much, much more than that.” He gives Tommy a wicked smile. “As long as we’re on the same page.”

Laughing, Tommy says, “Like that’s even a question.”

“But as far as everything else is concerned? We’ll go back to bed, and sleep, and tomorrow? I’m cooking breakfast and we’re having a proper date.” 

“Wait, since when can you cook?” Tommy’s teasing smile makes Adam wants to kiss him. And, just because he can, he does. A short, sweet kiss that widens Tommy’s smile and brings color to his cheeks. 

“I’m not that bad. And I’ve learned a couple of things in the last three years.” Adam takes a deep breath. “So? What do you say?”

“Yeah,” Tommy replies, taking Adam’s hand and linking their fingers. “I’d love that.”

Adam waits while Tommy takes off his clothes again before climbing into bed. Just as Adam suggested, they don’t do anything except sleep. However, the reminder that falling asleep with Tommy in his arms is something he can allow himself to get used to makes it all worth it.


End file.
